How Divorce Anxiety Can Lead to Panic Attacks
In mainstream culture, divorces are usually portrayed as vicious battles that result solely in relief. Of course, this template may play out from time to time, but it’s definitely not typical. Regardless of the specific details, any type of break-up will provoke a wide range of strong emotions. It can be traumatizing, so much so that at least 40 percent of divorced people report experiencing symptoms of severe anxiety.
A common symptom of severe anxiety is panic attacks. In other words, anyone going through the process of divorce is a candidate to get stuck in fight-or-flight mode and struggle with panic attacks.
Panic Attacks 101
The term “panic attack” is stressful enough. In reality, it can be worse than it sounds. Such an attack arrives suddenly and, even though it can only last for a few minutes, will give a strong impression that it will never end. Here are just some of the signs a person might endure:
Dizziness, lightheadedness, shortness of breath
Extreme perspiration or feeling chills
Tight, tense, and tingling muscles
Heart palpitations
Shaking
Nausea
Numbness and dissociation
For the record, while panic disorder is a diagnosis, you do not have to have this condition to experience a panic attack. All it takes is a situation that makes you feel overwhelmed or out of control. A good example of such a situation is, well, going through a divorce.
How Divorce Anxiety Can Lead to Panic Attacks
Despite a divorce rate of about 40 percent for first marriages, no one gets married with the expectation of getting divorced. You build a new life around your partner. This often includes having kids, owning a home, and becoming part of a whole new family. Divorce derails all of these realities. But there’s more.
A married couple has rhythms, routines, dreams, and goals. When they break up, their lives are turned upside down. Most of what they’ve taken for granted is gone, and they have so much to grieve about. More abstractly, they are losing a potential shared future that is no longer possible. Being placed in a position of reinventing oneself is stressful.
Without self-care, outside support, and (ideally) a good therapist, some ad hoc coping mechanisms may emerge. When these patchwork skills don’t do the job, it’s not unusual for a sense of panic to arise. “How did I end here?” Left unchecked, this is a recipe for panic attacks.
Anyone in such a situation must learn how to cope with both panic attacks and divorce anxiety. Let’s touch on some basics.
Coping With Panic Attacks
Keep in mind that panic attacks are typically quite brief. Remind yourself of this fact any time you feel triggered. If the attack has already started,
Close your eyes to reduce external stimulation
Perform deep breathing
Focus on an external item or spot
Ground yourself in the present moment
This is not a magic formula but it can reduce the intensity of what you’re feeling.
Coping With Divorce Anxiety
You’ll very much want to talk with a skilled mental health professional. In the meantime, here are a few self-help suggestions:
Mourn, grieve, and feel whatever you need to feel
Be patient with this process
Let go of your former habits and routines
Practice daily self-care
Do not withdraw into isolation
The combination of divorce anxiety and panic attacks is not uncommon. You’re adjusting to so many changes at once that this combination is virtually inevitable. But you’re not alone. An experienced therapist understands what you’re going through and can provide you with the safe space you need to recover and heal. If this post resonates with you, we should connect and talk soon to learn more how anxiety therapy can help.
