How to Recognize and Cope with Narcissistic Behavior in Your Relationship
It’s a good thing that mental health awareness has never been higher. However, getting your information from content like memes is not a good idea. There is no shortage of “narcissist” posts these days, but, as with all things, the issue requires more context than it typically gets. But, if posts about narcissism get clicks, they will be utilized by influencers who share posts across all platforms.
All that said, there is a chance you are dealing with a partner with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This diagnosable condition involves far more than an obsession with selfies and bragging. Before you assume the worst about someone, you must learn more.
Look For More Than Self-Indulgence and Entitlement
Generally speaking, a person with NPD will display symptoms like:
Extreme Mood Swings: At times (especially when you first meet), a narcissist will bombard you with compliments and attention. This can suddenly shift into verbal abuse that leaves you off-balance and confused.
Playing the Victim: The narcissist is skilled at manipulating perceptions of any situation so they look like the one being unfairly singled out.
Loners: Because, they claim, everyone has hurt them or is jealous of them (victim mentality), your narcissist partner probably has few (if any) close or longtime friends.
Dominating All Conversations: You don’t really talk to a narcissist; you listen to a monologue and find yourself getting lectured.
Lack of Empathy: Your partner is barely listening, so with that comes a distinct lack of validation or understanding.
Fake Apologies: Since narcissists show no remorse and do not take responsibility for their actions, the best you might get is something like, “I’m sorry if you got offended.”
All of this and so much more, e.g., broken promises, violated boundaries, gaslighting, and disrespect. So, how can you or anyone cope with narcissistic behavior in a relationship?
How to Cope with Narcissistic Behavior in Your Relationship
As stated above, the first step is self-education. Don’t trust clickbait content. Seek out trusted sources and familiarize yourself with NPD. From there:
Clear Communication
You can’t control how they communicate, but you can make certain that you make your concerns heard in a healthy way. This may provoke a response, but it is possible that they do not realize how they’re impacting you, so speak up. Side note: As hard as it might be, accept that their comments are not about you as much as about their disorder.
Clear Boundaries
NPD causes entitlement, which, in turn, leads to violations of your boundaries. It is essential that you set and enforce clear boundaries.
Lean on Trusted Friends and Family Members (and a Therapist)
Your support network will help you stay grounded when you begin to doubt yourself from all the manipulations. Do not let your partner keep you isolated. Also, your partner should be receiving treatment for NPD, but you also can benefit greatly from having your own therapist. It’s a golden opportunity to have a safe space to explore your options.
Speaking of Options…
As you might have surmised by now, it’s often best not to be in a relationship with a narcissistic partner. But leaving is often easier said than done. Prepare in advance. Consult your therapist and your support system. Have a plan in place in case your partner gets aggressive or over-persistent.
Don’t Go It Alone
Whether you’re trying to work things out with your partner or find a safe exit strategy, you’ll need help. I urge you to connect with a qualified mental health professional to learn more about couples counseling and serve as your guide through this tricky process. If any of the above hit close to home, let’s talk soon.
